--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
Due to the Snow.
Photos WERE Required.
...and when you find something perfect.
The perfect "IT"
Something which sparks an idea...
And this my friends, is what happened with that idea.
Thank you Snow for coming!
Moral:
What do you when you find IT?
When you find IT. Use IT.
When you use IT. Keep IT.
When you keep IT. Love IT.
When you love IT. Take pictures with IT.
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
Many don't know my story.
Everyone has a story though, some heartache and horrors that simply haunt them.
Personally I have looked death in the face feeling it's ice touch my soul more than once, I have seen disease rip apart people, I have watched cancer and chemo, I have seen suicide's bleak eyes, depression's depleting spirit, abuse of the worst kind, relationships be ripped to pieces and families fall apart.
Trust Me.
I understand.
I understand.
Among all this though, I have seen something more pertinent and personal...
And that is this
I have seen miracles.
Now, I don't mean to be super personal on a blog. I may have already done that though I'm afraid,
but I felt the need and the desire to say something about miracles.
The Lord does not give you anything you can't handle. Even if you must wait through it.
Today I will do something that I haven't gotten to do in seven years....
Today I will see my brother.
To most this is something they do every day, to me it is a miracle.
I have been waiting for this day.
I have been waiting for the wounds to heal.
I have been waiting for the scars to fade a little more.
I have been waiting for forgiveness to touch more hearts than one.
I have been waiting.
...they say you must endure to the end.
I am glad that today will be one step closer to that happy end.
There is a saying, a saying that has kept me going
"It'll all be okay in the end and if it's not okay, it's not the end"
So today I will go, and I will go and see my brother.
The story of the protocol son comes to mind when I think of him.
Some ask, why would you forgive him?
And I say to them -- why would not forgive you fellow man?
He is literally my family.
It brings me to the point.
Have you examined your miracles?
How ever small they may be....they are there.
Have you taken the time to give forgiveness?
We're all family. Give it up.
Have you found someone that you can tell them indeed, I understand?
Even if it means giving up a bit of your secrets to help another.
FIND SOMEONE. FIND A MIRACLE. FIND FORGIVENESS. FIND THE LORD IN YOUR LIFE.
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography n
of me. n
By: Emma Marie.
Alright blogging world....
here's the deal.
I know this is Cheesy, but it's something I've been meaning to do for awhile.
It's actually on my life goals list.
[Found Here: http://emmaslifeiskool.blogspot.com/]
Yes blogging world. I had a blog LONG before all of you.
Some of those goals are strange, I haven't posted in a long time.
I really should.
There are a lot more I've done.
Back to the point. This a list of things I want in a husband...
The goals list says 100 things, but you know...
No, these aren't in any particular order.
Some are must haves, some are cute things I would appreciate.
1. Undeniably and hopelessly kind.
2. Attends the temple regularly (so I don't have to drag him when I want to go).
3. Has a testimony of the gospel and the love of his Heavenly Father.
4. Returned Missionary
5. Hopeless Romantic
6. Someones who openly considers me their best friend
7. Loves to Travel and wants to see the world
8. Has nice little wrinkles on the corner of his face when he smiles
9. Courageously pursues his dreams
10. Highly tolerant; open-minded
11. A sense of humor
12. Passionate about his work/studies/career
13. Someone who looks after my welfare -- why I'm trying to take care of the rest of the world.
14. Supports my dreams
15. Someone who dresses well and knows what looks good on him.
16. Loves my family and friends
17. Wants to have kids and would be happy with four.
18. Would not mind having a cute family blog
19. Would love to take pictures with me
20. Wouldn't mind having a flour fight in the kitchen
21. Is a little kid at heart and is spontaneous
22. Tech Savy
23. Isn't afraid to be completely honest and isn't embarrassed about things.
24. Will not be afraid to have random dance parties with me in our living room.
25. Humble, willing to learn from anyone and anything in life
26. Forgives everyone
27. Knows how to budget, save and have money left to splurge.
28. Will want to be healthy.
29. Will agree that I don't want kids right away but maybe a year or so after we're married.
30. Knows I love to be held and will want to hold me whenever I'm with him.
31. Has respect for women and others around him.
32. Will want to decorate our home in cute creative ways
33. Understands that I want to buy a home early in the marriage and live our lives out there.
34. Is completely in love with me and is not afraid to tell me.
....that's all for now. I'll add more later :]
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
Eat.Pray.Love.
"Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."
"'Tis better to live your own life imperfectly than to imitate someone else's perfectly."
"Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself."
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
"Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be."
"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something. "
"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."
""When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. "
"There’s a crack (or cracks) in everyone…that’s how the light of God gets in."
"In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place."
"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices."
"You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."
"Some days are meant to be counted, others are meant to be weighed."
"Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy."
"Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots."
"God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies..."
"When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go."
"The more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life's achievement."
"To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous."
"We must take care of our families where-ever we find them."
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
Fake = False.
Can't we just admit it to ourselves.
This is false.
We're both afraid of ruin though.
We're both afraid of letting this completely fall apart.
We're both afraid of letting go of something that we've hoped for so long,
that we created to be perfect in our minds.
Really though?
What is perfect?
We aren't the same anymore.
Have you ever found that a person you knew so well so long ago,
now you barely know at all?
It's a loss.
A terrible awful loss.
When you lose something though, it lets room in for something new.
Ruin.
Complete ruin provides way for new life.
Can we live a life without each other?
To just give up hoping.
Even then, you now hope that you can go on hoping.
Even there. Hope.
Hope will exist even without one another.
Can we not be so afraid anymore?
Can you let go of my hand and give up on pretending
that you understand me.
We're different.
I will miss you.
You will miss me.
I will love you.
You will love me.
And we will go on......
Can we just move on?
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
Crash Course, defined as: a rapid and intense course of training or research
Crash Course = This Week
Need I really say more??
My week in a nutshell
MONDAY
Wake up late, get dressed, run to school like a mad women.
Panic about Yearbook deadline.
Panic mode. Panic mode. Panic mode.
Miss 5th period and 7th period due to Yearbook.
Turn in portfolio, that I finished hurriedly.
Go running.
TUESDAY
Wake up late, get dressed, meander in late to Journalism lab....again. Ugh.
Was I really even in Journalism? I think no.
Panic about Newspaper contact, where did my interview go? Could you call me?
Panic mode. Panic mode. Panic mode.
Go to 6th, miss 8th due to Journalism.
Come home as speedily as I can, talk to Kristy.
Miss everything from here to next Tuesday after school.
Go running.
WEDNESDAY
Wake up late, once more. What else is new?
Not allowed to go on FBLA Trip.
Go to Third.
Miss every other class -- due to Journalism.
Panic some more + a dash of panic.
Stayed until 6:30pm.
Came home, went running.
THURSDAY
Woke up late.....missed every class.
Stayed until 7:30
Went shopping. Tried to breath.
FRIDAY
Woke up late...again. Ran like the wind and slid down three steps trying to make it to third.
Forgot about FBLA lunch. Oops.
Missed every class but third, again.
Came home after school.
Almost died in the snow storm that I tried to drive in at 8:45 at night.
Wal-Mart photo center, I dislike you.
SATURDAY
Woke up at 8am. Went to breakfast with Santa.
Ran around being busy all day long.
Went to Wally World three times.
Count them. One. Two. Three.
SUNDAY
Woke up late. Really -- can I not be late?
Late to church.
Came home - read e-mail, wondered....how is this gonna work?
Stupid long distance.
But oh wait, a meeting!
Went to the meeting.
Loved the meeting.
Came home....
waiting for Home Teachers.
And then to study for Biology.
Dare I say, the cycle will start again?
Oh break. Come faster.
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.Need I really say more??
My week in a nutshell
MONDAY
Wake up late, get dressed, run to school like a mad women.
Panic about Yearbook deadline.
Panic mode. Panic mode. Panic mode.
Miss 5th period and 7th period due to Yearbook.
Turn in portfolio, that I finished hurriedly.
Go running.
TUESDAY
Wake up late, get dressed, meander in late to Journalism lab....again. Ugh.
Was I really even in Journalism? I think no.
Panic about Newspaper contact, where did my interview go? Could you call me?
Panic mode. Panic mode. Panic mode.
Go to 6th, miss 8th due to Journalism.
Come home as speedily as I can, talk to Kristy.
Miss everything from here to next Tuesday after school.
Go running.
WEDNESDAY
Wake up late, once more. What else is new?
Not allowed to go on FBLA Trip.
Go to Third.
Miss every other class -- due to Journalism.
Panic some more + a dash of panic.
Stayed until 6:30pm.
Came home, went running.
THURSDAY
Woke up late.....missed every class.
Stayed until 7:30
Went shopping. Tried to breath.
FRIDAY
Woke up late...again. Ran like the wind and slid down three steps trying to make it to third.
Forgot about FBLA lunch. Oops.
Missed every class but third, again.
Came home after school.
Almost died in the snow storm that I tried to drive in at 8:45 at night.
Wal-Mart photo center, I dislike you.
SATURDAY
Woke up at 8am. Went to breakfast with Santa.
Ran around being busy all day long.
Went to Wally World three times.
Count them. One. Two. Three.
SUNDAY
Woke up late. Really -- can I not be late?
Late to church.
Came home - read e-mail, wondered....how is this gonna work?
Stupid long distance.
But oh wait, a meeting!
Went to the meeting.
Loved the meeting.
Came home....
waiting for Home Teachers.
And then to study for Biology.
Dare I say, the cycle will start again?
Oh break. Come faster.
By: Emma Marie.
Tonight, I watched a movie.
Eat. Pray. Love.
It reminded me of Rome -- Roma.
I love it there.
It is by far my favorite place in the world.
dolce far niente is the sweetness of doing nothing.
That is what I love about Italy.
It doesn't matter what you look like, but knowing that you are unique and loving it anyway.
You is about being alive, breathing in everything bright color or pattern, the beautiful language.
and of course -- THE FOOD.
I miss that sweetness in life. Someday I'll find it soon.
and finally a short scene with some very wise words.......
“But I love him.” - Liz
“So love him.” - Richard
“But I miss him.” - Liz
“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of him because then you’ll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries [that's what he calls her]. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using him to block that door. Let it go.” - Richard
By: Emma Marie.
“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up”
~The Wonder Years
So who says that we have to grow up? We just have to grow old - remember when you were a kid? Wait.
Are we still kids? I don't know. I'm not really sure.
Are we still kids? I don't know. I'm not really sure.
Sometimes life seems so busy that I wonder if I'm still a kid.
I think maybe what makes us young, is that you don't forget to have fun.
So thanks to my favorite nephews for adding that bit of fun to my day.
Dear Nephews, I love you! Don't forget - even though you may be a future doctor, or even that you have some big shoes to fill - being a kid and having fun is what is worth it in the end. ~Emma
By: Emma Marie.
While many of you may not know....
if I wasn't going into Neuroscience,
if I didn't love photography,
I would probably be a fashion designer.
I've always wanted to take a fashion design class.
Why I never did?
I don't know.
Tonight I started looking up cute clothes and putting together outfits...
and this is what I found.
I then sketched it out.
Really, in fact I love sketching.
I always tell people that's why I'm not going into Photography.
Truth: I'm not going into Photography because I want something challenging, something I just can't coast through.
I don't know? What are your thoughts?
I know, quite the random post, but really so much happened today that to post anything coherent would be adding insult to injury.
Ah, another perfect outfit though, to end a crazy day with.
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
Dearest Friends,
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for all the cute things today.
Just to highlight a few sources, which shall remain anonymous.
LETTERS TO EMMA:
"Emma-
You are a pretty swell gal, I think very highly of you. You are intelligent, comical, insightful, beautiful, and many other things. So have a wonderful day, and know you are quite amazing
With Love "
"I wuv you"
"I think for someone to like me they'd have to odd. So it's a good thing you're odd too, I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Did you say please? Emma is a beautiful daughter of God, you should treat her as such."
"You are really incredible and I totally look up to you"
"You are crazy. Yep, thats probably what I have always wanted to tell you. Jk. I admire you and am so proud of you."
So, Thank You.
Thank You for making today a beautiful day.
With much love and thankfulness :]
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
I'm staring at the "Confirm" button.
Do I click it?
I'm not mad. I'm not sad.
I'm just Emma wondering how did I get here?
It's Facebook. Why is this such a big deal?
Facebook prompts...
"They'd like to be your friend, if you know them click confirm"
Do I know them?
Yes I know them. I've known them forever.
Forever. Forever?
A very long time at least.
Letting You See It All.
Would you like to see my life laid out on your screen?
Yes. Here it is.
Want to know what I did last weekend?
Want to see what I did last night?
Want to see what I'm looking for?
Find my favorite quotes?
See what school I go too?
Find out my birthday?
See what I'm doing in the future?
Find out what I'm afraid of?
Tell you who I'm in love with?
Yes. Here it is.
I'm staring at the "Not Now" button.
Do I click it?
I'm going to have to deal with this sooner. Or later.
I'm just Emma wondering how did I get here?
It's Facebook. Why is this such a big deal?
Facebook prompts...
"Add to List"
Ah could I put them in a list? Just go on hiding.
Yes genius just go on being invisible.
Invisible. Invisible?
But they love me, and I love them too.
Letting You See Just a Bit.
Would you like to see my face laid out on your screen?
Yes. Here it is.
Want to stare and find out if I'm pretty?
Want to see what I did this weekend anyways?
Want to see the new camera trick I learned?
Want to see me smile?
Want to see my cry?
Want to see how I'm feeling?
Want to see that cute new hat I got?
Want to see where I went on vacation?
Want to know who my best friend is?
Yes. Here it is.
I'm staring at the "Cancel" button.
Do I click it?
I'm sick of waiting though. I'm annoyed by the small red circle.
I'm just Emma wondering how did I get here?
It's Facebook. Why is this such a big deal
Facebook prompts...
"Subscribe via SMS to their posts"
I could read everything, it would be fine. Keep it safe still.
Yes brilliant, every status, I could stalk.
Stalk. Stalk?
This is silly, gleaning bits of information from the page. They want to be friends. We are friends.
Letting You See Nothing
Would you wonder what happened to me?
Yes. Yes you would.
Want to know what I did last weekend? Yes, you do, because you wish you could be here too.
Want to see what I did last night? Yes, you do. So you can comment on how much fun I had.
Want to see what I'm looking for? Yes, you do, because you want to see that.
Find my favorite quotes? Yes, you do, so we can laugh about the funny ones.
See what school I go too? Yes, you do because you want to see where I live.
Find out my birthday? Yes, you do, because you care and want to wish me the best.
See what I'm doing in the future? Yes, you do, so maybe you can come too.
Find out what I'm afraid of? Yes, you do, so you can be there to tell me it'll be okay.
Tell you who I'm in love with? Yes, you do, because you might wonder if it's you.
Want to stare and see if I'm pretty? Yes, you do, and so you can comment and tell me that I am.
Want to see what I did this weekend anyways? Yes, you do, so you can laugh at how ridiculous it was.
Want to see the new camera trick I learned? Yes, you do, so you can tell me you're proud of me.
Want to see me smile? Yes, you do, because you miss it.
Want to see my cry? Yes, you do, because you want to tell me it'll all be okay in the end.
Want to see how I'm feeling? Yes, you do, because sometime you're lost and you're trying so hard.
Want to see that cute new hat I got? Yes, you do, so that you can tell me it looks good on me.
Want to see where I went on vacation? Yes, you do, so you can ask about all the adventures I had.
Want to know who my best friend is? Yes, you do, so you can learn to be friends with them too.
Yes. Yes you would.
I'm staring at the "Confirm" button.
I'm staring at the "Not Now" button.
I'm staring at the "Cancel" button.
-click-
--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.
