And I'm Giving Up on Happy Endings....

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to be ridiculously cynical and frustrated for this, if you don't want to read it just disregard it - for now though, I'm going to vent.
That is all - end of message 

I want a scene where the music is blasting,where everyone smiles and waves at you -
where you smile at the person across from you because at the end of the day, you're the person they wanted to be there with - where ever there is. And every promise that was every bragged about are truly meant and kept. Where outside was in and inside was out - and everything that actually mattered came first.

My life has always seemed to be a little more hectic than normal. Going to school Monday-Saturday for 50 hours a week and then scrambling over whatever other project I've gotten myself involved in - plus friends, callings, working ten hours a week and babysitting for my family, it really doesn't give me much time to breathe anymore. Thank goodness it's almost over. UVU ends next week, THS ends in 34 days.

Don't get me wrong I loved high school, simply because I love learning.
I just hate the end of it where you have to be something or someone or even just yourself.
Any of the above options seem impossible hard, and for what, does it matter?
I mean lets face it in the end were all going to go our separate ways ...and see each other in 15 years when we have to go to those reunions. And are we really going to show up anyways? Well yes, I am, but still.

Sometimes I think that life is so fake. It's a test of something else, and when are tests ever reality.
There is a life beyond this test, right? Yes. I am inclined to believe there is.
And when it seems like every movie has a "Happy Ending" - I keep asking, can't I have mine for once?
Maybe I'm just not a happy that therefore exempts me from such endings. 
I'm not sure anymore, I'm not really sure.

The thought that keeps crossing my mind: "Heavenly Father, what in the heck do you want me to learn?"
That Happy Endings don't happen? That life is hard? That there are good things, even when everything else is falling apart? I get it. I get it. I get it.

You know I see the good things....but for once. Please?
So that's it - I give up on expectations in life...I give up, I quit, and I'm giving up on Happy Endings.

--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
 By: Emma Marie.

One Response so far.

  1. Hannah J. says:

    Dearest Emma,
    Once upon a time I was going to give up on thinking about happy endings. I had said "Because then [if you don't hope for the best] you don't set such high expectations, and you can't be let down if you don't expect anything!" in one of my blog posts. I was down, but the rest of my blog post didn't really show it. And the thing that cheered me up was a sweet comment you made:
    "I agree, except on one small part...don't stop hoping, because if you don't have dreams then you never get anywhere."
    So don't give up on your happy ending and don't stop hoping. Besides, every ending-- whether happy or not-- is just a new beginning, right?
    I love you!