Confession: Black Skinny Jeans

Call me superficial, 
but I've always wanted a pair of black skinny jeans. 
So, someday when I wake up on the other side of tomorrow.....
I'll buy this outfit. 
But, waking on the other side of tomorrow....
well that's not happening anytime soon. 
It's fun to dream though. So I'll keep dreaming. 





--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Lovely




Lovely
Lyrics By: Sara Haze

I don't wanna be hurt
I just want to be little old me
Shouldn't have to think
Who am I suppose to be today
And what give you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing

I feel lovely
Just the way that I am
Yes I feel lovely
The way that I am

I need that to be enough for you
Need that to be enough for you
Cause it's enough for me
It's enough for me

I'm I suppose to give up everything I am
Just to make you happy
I thought I was the one you
Always wanted me to be
It turns out I'm just little old me
I'm just little old me
And that's fine by me

Cause I, I am lovely
Just the way that I am
Oh yes I am,
Yes I am lovely
The way that I am
I am lovely lovely
I am lovely



I wish that the world felt this way about all of the young women out there, I wish that all the young women out there felt this way about themselves. I know that as a girl, at some point or another, has struggled with this. Just know, you are lovely, just the way you are. Keep smiling, because no matter what the world says you are a beautiful daughter of God. Don't give up what you are, because seriously that is truly wonderful. Lately I've asked a few of my friends that are guys (college and high school boys alike)....okay, yeah there are like ten or so of them (yep, I asked the guy who proposed too)....anyways, I asked them what they're looking for in a wife. Can I just say that none of them told me anything about appearance, not one. When I asked one of them about if she had to be beautiful, they said "If she has all of these things, she'll already be the most beautiful girl in the world to me." Yes girls, there are guys out there who aren't completely worldly. Yes, it's hard to wait. But don't give up who you are to be something you're not.....there is someone out there for you. 
Be the best you can, take care of yourself  the best you can, learn all that you can and he'll be there waiting. 
I guess, I hope that I'm not the only one out there who feels like this sometimes. 
For today though, at 3am, I feel lovely, just the way that I am.  


--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Fresh Prince at 3am....and they test the Emergency Alert System.....

No one wants to be alone. 
We're all craving connection. 
It is the reason blogs exist, the reason Facebook thrives, the reason the world goes round. 
If we don't have said connections (whether serious or synthetic) -- we fall, we fail....
most tragically we scramble until we can connect again. 
Humanity makes all mistakes in this scrambling. 
I just don't understand why complain about lack of connection -- and yet there are people reaching out...
but there are walls. Why build walls?
Granted, I am guilty of this too. 
Building walls to see who will tear them down.
TEAR THE WALLS DOWN
I'm sure there may be exceptions to this rule, I mean all the hermits and cat ladies in the world, 
but once, did they not connect with someone on something?
I'm not talking about love.
I'm not talking about friendship. 
I'm talking about connection in it's simplest form.....
.....I'm talking about being human, honestly caring about your neighbor. 
Yes, most connections develop into something more. 
So please, let them grow. 
Please let people in. 
And if you fall in love with them, fall hard -- because you'll fall anyways if you don't
And if you fail at being a friend, fail at it -- because friends eventually forgive 
(And you would have failed anyways). 
Please, let there be a connection. 
Please, let your walls down. 
Please, take the risk.
No one wants to be alone. 
We're all craving connection. 


--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Wanted: Life Metronome.

I always seem to have the worst timing....
and my life seems to like to have bad timing too. 
So I keep waiting for the day when she'll have perfect timing. Life metronome where are you when I need you?
You know though, life can't be lived without a best friend. 
I'm glad I have one of those. 
Even for all the awful timing. 
Thanks Best Friend. 
....that is all. 

--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

When all the randoms make sense....

For the sake of trying one of those random pass along things, 
For the sake of avoiding finishing my Sterling Scholar Portfolio, 
For the sake of having a reason so that I would post that last post, 
I said....hey, what the heck! And went for it.....

so, I followed these instructions:
"instructions 1 - Go to Wikipedia and hit random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. 2 - Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”. Third picture no matter what .........it is, will be your album cover. 4 - Use photoshop or similar (picnik.com is a free online photo editor) to put it all together. 5 - Post it with this text in the "caption" and TAG the friends you want to join in"

And this is what happened.....

 Photo copyright cgrantk via flickr
Quote from Frida Kahlo

Thank you random challenge for pinpointing EXACTLY how I feel right now. 
I mean who knows what Leopold Square is, but.....
at least when I'm having a weird day now I can say
Hey it's a Leopold Square kinda day! Hey!
(yes, that was a reference to Arthur)

That is all. 











--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

42

Supposedly the answer to all questions in the universe is 42. 
So I simply want to answer the comments on my last post with....42, but that seems slightly unfair. Yes?

I've been pondering a lot over these questions.....I really did think about what to say. So, tell me what you think. 

1. Biggest regret? It can be in any category you so desire. People's biggest regrets say a lot about who they are as a person. :)

It would seem cliché to say that I regret nothing, but it would make me seem proud to say this.....and if on the other hand I say that I regret something, it would make me seem ungrateful for things life has given me and that phrase in and of itself seems cliché. In my opinion, I would have to take Mrs. Van Orden's advice on this "don't use a cliché in your writing, unless you can make it your own." So I have come to this in response to your question....yes, there are things I wonder about that if I would have done them differently where I would be. Quite honestly, the first thing that came into my head was band. I wish I would have taken my skill of playing the clarinet (yes, I can play it, yes, I can play Mary Had A Little Lamb quite well....which apparently means I could play the fight song?) and done something with it. If I would have done band though? Could I have a done everything else I had done. I wonder what would have happened if I had continued to be in Orchestra. On the other hand, I never would have been in Student Government my sophomore year, nor would have taken that photography class that I fell in love with. I wonder sometimes if I wouldn't have dated the boy I dated if I would be happier now. If sometimes when I walk down the halls and I see him if life would be less painful. Then I think about all the things that I learned, if it weren't for him I never would have come to the conclusion that I am beautiful. So, yes there are things that I wonder about if I would have done them differently how would I be different. But, they make me who I am. Life is not about regretting the past but about accepting the future. Yeah, there are things that suck. Quite honestly though, boy, band (not to be confused with a boy band), orchestra....and not trying out for the basketball team my freshman year. Those are things that I wonder about. Otherwise, I am quite happy.....so moral of the story, don't regret, but don't forget....and try everything life brings. It's life....it's supposed to be lived. 

2.Who is someone who has had a great influence on your life and why? (besides family or some important person like a prophet or Gandhi or stuff like that)

First person that came to mind was my dad, but since we are disregarding family I will tell you about a sincere person in my life, my 6th grade teacher, Mr. Wells. When you lose a family member for whatever reason it is like someone has taken your heart and ripped it to pieces...and then you're left on your own trying to figure out how to put the thing back together so it'll beat in unison again. At the loss of one of my family members this teacher (who was not even my teacher at the time)...came to the hospital before they died, brought me flowers to the viewing (the only flowers I've ever received from someone) and came to the funeral. After they did, Mr. Wells let me come to his room after school and help him. He let me cried and held me why I did. He let me talk. He let me think....and he gave me a notebook...one with a red cover...and 120 pages. Mr. Wells gave me a way to live again, to write letters to my dad, so I could figure out how he could still be a piece of my life. When everyone else didn't understand, he tried too. When everyone else was too afraid because they didn't know what to do when I cried, he held me. When everyone else gave up on me, he kept telling me I could do it. There have been times in my life where I didn't want to live anymore....and Mr. Wells wouldn't let me give up. He has the greatest influence on my life because he made sure that I kept living it....and that I learned how to live it again. Granted he is not the only one who has had a significant impact, there are others.......Dr. Summers & Mr. Stevenson come to mind. I must say this though if you look at everyone whom you meet as a teacher they will impact you. If you have that many teachers around you, you will a learn a great deal about the life. Don't be afraid to let people teach you and don't be afraid to learn something new. 

3.I feel sorta nosy, but you always talk about boys, holding hands, that you love, etc. I'm just curious.... who? Also, how did you know the church is true? Unless you don't, then why?

-Deep Breath-  Okay, this is the one I have stared at the longest. It's okay, you aren't nosy. Oh my, I just hope that you don't think my whole blog is about boys. Let's see what to address, holding hands. I've held hands with three boys. One who lives in Panama, one who I fell in love with and the other whom you (Aubrey) know quite well, he lives in Salt Lake and I think he is your cousin? Anyways, his name is Brick. The boy I fell in love with. I feel so  inclined to answer your question, but not on my blog. Typing his name would defeat the purpose of my blog and for his sake....I'm not going too. So come ask me in person, yes that goes for any of you....and I'll be happy to tell you. Just for his sake....I'd rather not post his name. So call me, beep me...you know how to reach me. 

First off, yes I do know the church is true. Without a doubt, I know it is true. I don't think that I can actually pin it down to a precise moment in my life. I know I have talked about how losing a family member, there is a point  where life is so bleak and so dark that you just don't know where to turn too. That's where I turned too. There have been many moments like this....where when there is nothing left, there is a love of my Heavenly Father. I have to say my testimony started with this...that I know he knows who I am. Slowly, but surely it grew. It's still growing.  
I know who I am, I know God has a plan for me. I know from the quiet whisperings on lonely days that this is where He wants me to be, that this is His church and that He loves me unconditionally. There is a Father in Heaven who loves us each so much that once you come to the understanding or even experience a small part of his love you know that there is no way that he would not give you the opportunity to grow and the opportunity to live with him again. I will say this, that I have learned about other churches, I've been to a few. There isn't anything that is as complete and as personal. Some may say that the more you learn the less religion makes sense, but I feel quite the opposite way about it. The more you learn the more you begin to understand a small piece of the immensity of the universe and there is no way it could exist without a God. 
It's a personal thing to know. But...my advice, 
Pray, you'll learn. Trust, you'll let him in. Love, you'll figure it out. 

 Please comment with your thoughts. Also, if you have more questions....ask away....on any post really. Just click on the title. Sometime when I have nothing to write I may do this again. Did you enjoy this world? Or was it just boring? .....hmmmm. Well, that is all. 
Thanks for your questions :] 

--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Question & Answer

Dear You,  
Yes you blog follower :]
Here is the deal,
I'm at a loss. 
My mind is full, 
My heart is empty. 
So, ask anything you want....
click on the title, post a comment with a question....
seriously, anything. 
Anything you've ever wondered, 
or wanted to know. 
That for some reason I would know
or something about me you've wanted to know.
And I'll answer. 
Honestly. 
Completely. 
Fully. 
In my next blog post.....k ready....and comment. 
Love, Emma






--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Hi - My Name is Sodium


You're there in thick and thin
You hear me out when I want to talk

You help me out when I get sad
You are the bestest friend I've ever had
You look past all my flaws and faults

For all the time you spend
For the kind things that you do
Thank you, 
Thank you Best Friend. 

Someone sent me that poem once, and today I found it quite fitting. 
Just because it's silly. 
These photos are silly.
And I'm not really sure what'd I do without my best friend. 
...That is all. 



--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

When Life Gets Dark and Lonely

























Lately I have found myself in a position where most days I feel like I am just left to tackle life on my own. 
It is an interesting place to find yourself in. 
I have nicknamed this place, the Wandering Place. 
On Tuesday night while driving around waiting for a friend, 
at 5:40pm I saw a scene (slightly less brilliant) but beautiful indeed. 
I wished more than anything that I had a camera,
so I made a decision I would come back on Thursday. 
This is what I came on Thursday too. 
The most beautiful, uplifting scene I had seen in awhile. 
My light in the darkness. 
I am so grateful that I live in such a beautiful place. 
NEW GOAL: Find the beauty that exists around me and capture it (just for safekeeping)


--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Moonrise




There are a lot of thoughts in my head, a lot of rhymes and reason that I can't put to bed. So I'm resting here and staring up at the sky and I can't help but think about you and I. Sometimes I go outside on cloudy nights, where the moon shines, and wonder, could I lasso that moon for you and I? Would you take me then?

Wrap me up in your arms and coat. Forget about the friends we've always been. Would you, could you let love in? Not tonight, my heart still says. And so it speaks, Dear Emma, just go to bed. Rest your eyes and escape to your dreams. Circle the earth, see the satellites and forget about how reality seems. But when my eyelids break and in the morn there is still so much at stake. Do I tell you how I feel? Do you know how this could be real? 

Oh I confess, my weary heart is saying. Let the world know that I've been praying....that'd you'd love me just the same. So when the moon comes out at night, when the world is at peace and right. Those are the moments I think of us most. Maybe we could be an us an boast, like Cassiopeia among the stars, where true love could exist like ours. 



Moonrise: an array of nocturnal radiance emerges. 
Silver brilliance streaks across the Milky Way; wishes rise
And legends told from the readers of the wise
Cassiopeia beautifully boasts. Polaris diverges
to a path leading any wandering lover home. Found
beneath the invariable revolutions of a winding world. Spinning 
eyes try and catch the speed of light beginning. 
Beginning to end, ending to begin and unending round. 


Eternity: a cycle of insanity – expecting
some different result when each is the same, and to find 
a miracle in that each life is uniquely told. 
And have again a baffling sky connecting
the star-crossed paths of love. Blind
to the rise and rest which brought them a hand to hold. 



--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
 By: Emma Marie.

Marriage, Marriage is what brings us together today....

In all seriousness, 
I got proposed to today. 
For an "in the future" moment.
And this is how it went....basically anyways....
....what my brain processed....

"Emma, I have a question for you"
"okay? whats up"
"Will you marry me?"
"Wait, what?"
"I'm serious"
"You can't be serious"
"I am though, I understand you can't marry me now, but in the future...I just, you're wonderful and we fit well together...you're perfect"
"I am not perfect, you can't be serious"
"Emma you are like wine, you just get better and better as time goes on. I love being with you and we want to see life through with you and how wonderfully you continue to become."
"You can't be serious"
"I want to marry you in the future, so I'm asking you, will you marry me?"
-silence + blank stare-
"We can be like (insert famous couple name who I had no idea who they were here), we'll be great together and do wonderful things in our life. You haven't answered me. I know you're shocked, but Emma, it's just for the future something to look for too."
"A lot of things can change in that amount of time, we'll see how life goes and where it takes us."

In all seriousness, 
That was the best answer I could come up with. 
For an "in the future" moment.
And that's how it went....basically anyways....
....what my brain processed....

In all seriousness, he was serious, I wasn't expecting that.
 I'm not in love with this boy. I don't even like this boy. 
We just have a tendency to hang out and talk a lot.
Apparently he likes me, correction, loves me.  
Marriage? Is he insane?
Yes, we would probably be great together. That still does not give someone warrant to propose when a girl is seventeen. 
In all seriousness, the way he set it up was cute. 
Perfect set up for a cute proposal.
.....but really, oh my. 

For the silver lining moment....on my bucket list......proposal. check. 






--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Beauty


I AM BEAUTIFUL.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. 
Forget about fame or fortune of the ever so classic phrase, fab-u-lous. 
Imagine to yourself...you get up in the morning you look in the mirror, 
what do you say to yourself?
I want you to say to yourself: I am beautiful. 
So you have imperfections?
Let them be - it's what makes you different. 
Let what is on the inside out. 
Let your beauty glow from the inside. 
So you're silly. Be silly. 
Want to know something?
I'm imperfect too! And guess what? I love that!
So let's forget about the stereotypes or what's in fashion. 
BE YOU because that is what is BEAUTIFUL. 


--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
 By: Emma Marie.

Tickled Pink Marshmallow Men



Color Me Katie? Have you seen her blog?
Highly recommend it. 
As cool as hers?....No.
Considerably more epic and tickled pink?... Yes. 

I saw these awesome marshmallow men, 
and well you see I wanted to make them!
So...I did. 
But what is an adventure if you have to do it alone?
It's nothing. 

So my best friend agreed to come along for the ride. 
I told you I would find something splendid in every day, 
today this was my something splendid. 
Silly & Splendid
Some say, why would you do that?
I say why would I not do that! 

So thanks Best Friend for humoring my silliness. 
...and finding some laughter in this splendid day :]




--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
 By: Emma Marie.

Penguins on Parade

I vowed to find something splendid in everyday. 
Biggest Pet Peave: When people walk down the halls at a ridiculously slow pace and then their friends do it with them and they block the whole entire hallway
...or in my case today, the stairs!
So...when people walk slow, I feel like I'm weebling and wobbling -- 
because I'm just waiting. 
When I think weeble and wobble I think...Penguin. 
So I proceeded to walk down the stairs like a penguin of course. 
(Logically this is the next thing that would follow, yes?)
To the random freshman, sophomores and juniors who proceeded to do it with me. Thank You. 
Thank you fellow classmates who think that walking down the stairs at 2 steps per minute is ridiculous. 
And to the random underclassman who said "I love the Seniors!"
I love you too. I love you too. 
So next time you feel super slow...walk like a penguin....
...maybe you'll find you're the leader of penguins on parade! 


--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

White Walls and Windows

-Food Coloring
-Marshmallows
-Paint Brushes

-Markers which write on Windows
-Windows
-Shadows

-Colored Paper
-Scissors
-Tape
-Lips

-Plain Shirts
-Iron-On Letters
-Tape
-Spray Paint

-Wireless Camera Remote
-Stick on Wobbly Eyes

-Umbrella
-Blue Paper
-Light Blue Paper
-Scissors
-Myriad of Colored Paper

-String
-Multi-colored Paper

-Food Coloring (again?)
-Spray Bottles
-Snow

-One Bubble Wand
-Some more colored paper?
-One Large White Wall

-Cookie Dough
-A Roller
-Cookie Pan

-Cute Paper
-Glue 
-Scissors 


-Black Paper
-Picture Frames

So once I found all these cute ideas. The thing I lack? White Walls and Windows. Do you  have them? Will you let me stick tape on them? Do you have a free Saturday afternoon? Would you like free photos and let me try out some ridiculous ideas on your White Walls? If so. Comment Now. 

Thank You. 

--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.

Reruns, Rewrites and Preflights

RERUNS
In January I hoped that 2010 would bring about a lot of new things. I found another best friend. I went to the Stake Dance just like normal. I went to school. I switched out of Calculus (the first class I'd never not finished). I smiled, I laughed, I remember wishing life were different. I searched for a new camera bag, for a camera I had yet to name -- but would take with me on an upcoming trip of a lifetime. I went to the Concerto Aria concert for my first time in high school and fell in love with it. I applied for scholarships, some I got, some I didn't....then January came and it went. 

In February, I wanted to a celestial peanut. I still do. I didn't get asked to Valentine's, but went anyways to do pictures. I finally named my camera JJ (Just Jane) who I spend so much time with. A person came into my life who has changed it forever and has become one of my greatest friends -- aside from his Yam obsession. I met someone on a bench that I still wonder about. Who are you mysterious boy? I watched the Olympics like it was religion. On the day of the Opening Ceremonies I surprised a friend who was sick. It was a grand adventure. I played ward basketball, did mass amounts of homework, and got really excited for "the trip". I did a Business BYU Language Competition. You think a presentation about a product in English is hard, try doing it in Spanish! We placed 4th, I felt accomplished. Overall, good hardworking month. It left too.

In March, the first was my birthday. My sister got me a giant button so everyone would know. I left early that day to get on a plane...to fly to Paris then on to Italy. The next two weeks I spent with some of the best people and went to some of the best places. Italy, Egypt, Israel. It was the trip of the lifetime. I got to ride on a camel, see the sights, taste the food -- it was the best. I came back to find school went on with me. I started falling for someone. I went to HOSA and placed 1st in the state -- ya Nationals! I had an interview to run for State FBLA Office and the last day of March the band came back to town. I found out also that I would be the Journalism Photographer. I was very excited. 

In April, I fell in love. I went to MORP. I didn't win for State Office. I ran for Senior Class President. I planned Junior Week. I didn't win, I lost of a lot of elections this month. I went to Prom with Chris Bunker and had a wonderful time! I'd been waiting to wear my dress for over 6 months and the day had come. It was wonderful, truly wonderful. Secretly, Prom was the best because I got to help so many others. I didn't get an appointed position, but I tried to look on the positive side. 

In May, I enjoyed being in love and then for the nearly 3 months I'd been in it, I fell out of it. I tried to forget about it by all the AP things I had to do and finding in myself a new path to take -- going to college. I ran in the "Race for the Cure" -- and dreamed about the two boys I've always liked. One so far enough, and the other who might never notice I'm there. I went to a Schroeder Concert with my Best Friend. It was amazing!! I lost a camera card with all those wonderful Europe photos on it. I ate Kong Kones, I went to Senior Ball, I stayed at Timpview all night long for Yearbooks, I took those AP Tests and I left Junior Year behind me. Hello Summer! First Day: Went to Lagoon with some of my best friends! Coolest day of my life...and the moment I realized, just Emma, you still like him, even if he'll never like you. 

In June, I mailed letters off to Brazil, and wasted away 2 weeks of summer until the craziness began. I watched Romeo & Juliet, I went to the Orem Summerfest, went to Girl's Camp for one day, went to Yearbook Camp and then came home for three short days. I went on a "not date" with my best friend and saw Toy Story 3. Then I went to HOSA Nationals. Top 50 in the Nation. I had my rebound moments. I got phone calls every night, I knew I could do this. Then I went off to my family reunion after three more days home...and there went June, the last day of it I spent waking up in Vegas on my way to the hills of California. 


In July, I discovered Howard Roark and Dominca Francon. Thank you to the "The Fountainhead". I went to a ridiculous Family Reunion. I found my new love, Biking. I said good-bye to one of my new found best friends. I went to Youth Conference, though I had to leave early from that too. I started my ACT prep class in hopes of that elusive 30. I biked away July pushing it to 50 miles a day. I got over you somewhere in between, over you the boy I loved. I went to the Llama fest, went Caroling in July. I went to A-1 I wanted a Driver's License. I went to Laurel Movie Night, I got called to be in the Presidency. I made my own website. I read MLIA. I went to my nephew's birthday party. I met another boy, but alas a college boy was he. 

In August, I taught my first YW's lesson. I got my college classes all set in place, I discovered I never would have done this if I had won all those elections. I found out I would go to college, before I would start my Senior Year. I got my Driver's License. I bought a car. I named my car Petri. I door bell ditched some Brownies.  I went up to Salt Lake to try on Dresses. Oh the adventures of Stan & Juan. I missed a certain boy, but you can't just let old loves die, can you? I stared my Senior Year. I gave my last sacrament meeting talk. Then August ended. 

On the first day of September I spent 13+ hours at school. Great way to start off a month, yes? ACT spelled my name wrong, so I got to spend 3+ hours on the phone with them trying to fix it. I took the ACT for the third time. I applied for more scholarships. I found a place I love, the library, I volunteered. A lot. Highlight of the month, "I listened to a man sound out the word dumb, and proclaim 'I am not dumb anymore, I'm learning to read."-- It reminded me how life is full of little miracles." I went on a few more dates. I went to a Neon Trees concert. I went to see that boy again in Salt Lake. I went on ridiculous adventures with Megan Lee. We got our Yearbook Sweats in. I finally felt apart of something. Then, there went September. 

Wake me up when September ends? Yes. October I felt alive! I held hands with a boy. There was a random UPS guy who rang the doorbell five times, then danced, I will never forget him. I went to the doctor four or five times and even got to see a specialist. Ya for things which are wrong with me. Someone new showed up in my life and they were fun too. I spent time watching stars, I spent time doing Yearbook. I was so happy again. I ate Toasted PB&Js almost ever day. I helped someone again. I stepped on crunchy leaves, went puddle jumping, ditched a lot of classes, but made it out of 1st term alive and well. It had been 1826 days since my dad died...and counting. I spent it at my house alone, after my mom and sister left to Florida. I flew to Florida by myself.  I gave a random kid a hug in the airport. I went on a plane to Florida again. Disney Cruise? Yep. Most random Halloween adventure -- ever. And then there came November. 

In November, I did pictures for a friend. My car broke down. Oh Petri, what were you thinking? I laughed about Army Crawling. I found that 16 GB Camera Card with Europe pictures. The Snowpocalypse didn't come. I saw Tangled. I applied for college. Four years of hard work narrowed down to 25 out of 50 check boxes, 1,500 words, three recommendations, a GPA and an ACT score. I had a ridiculously long Harry Potter Movie Marathon. I started running  on the BYU Track and decided I want to do a triathlon. 

In December, I made a blog. I drew cartoons. I told you about my other blog. I went to concerts. I found out I'm the Business Sterling Scholar. I made it through my first semester of college. I wore ugly Christmas Sweaters. I read books. I went swimming. I made it to Chirtmas break. I took more pictures. I saw my brothers I hadn't seen in 7 years. I watched Eat.Pray.Love. and fell in love with it. I had a Merry Christmas. I spent 5 hours putting in my car radio with my best friend. I had this ridiculously awesome Laurel Party. I realized that I wasn't in love with you, and you're still just wanting to be a kid. Who wants to change your life for someone yet anyways? We were both relieved. I ended 2010 being single once again. I dreamed away about 2011, about the one who I've always liked. I got told I could marry them 4 times in one day. Odd. Yes. I danced the night away, ate pizza and blasted music into the new year. 

....and 2010, that's just how it ends. 


REWRITES
I imagine I could do some things differently. I think I'll just stick with you, just liking you. It will be easy. It will be simple. It will save me a lot of heartache. 

I want to be healthier. Biking my love, I'm ready to be lovers once again. Eating better might be good too. Yes indeed. 

Money, I've got the money saving plan ready and set up to go! Ya for having money to do things and preparing for life in the future. 

I want to find adventure. Africa? Will you please take me away. I know that sometime soon I might end up in Paris. 

I'll graduate with some other degrees and scholarship money. I'm excited for that. I want to be less stressed about school and have more time for people. 

I'll go off to college and have a cute dorm room. I want to rewrite this ridiculous room mess problem I seem to be having.

You know most, what I want to be different. 
I want me to be different. 
So I will be. 

PREFLIGHTS
Somewhere in the upcoming year....umm plans?
I'll go to far off places. Paris? Africa? Orlando Again? California? I hope I'll go. 

I'll graduate, as I said before. It will be wonderful. Only 5 months to go, I'm so very close!

I'll get a job, a real job, not just my little business on the side job. 

I'll be a tutor for Project Read, I want to teach people how to read. I want to sound out words with others. 

I'll write letters to far off places and some friends leave and some friends go. It'll be hard, but I'll keep in touch. 

Most of all I will find 2011. 
I will find you, and find me in you. 


WELCOME 2011 WELCOME -- 
IT'LL BE A GREAT ONE-on-ONE EXPERIENCE!


--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.