Outsider

Inside, it is unknown. 
Most days I feel like an outsider in my own skin. 
Alienated from my own life.
Learning so much, that all of this seems so strange and unfamiliar. 
My body spends so much time trying to wake itself up, reality seems far away. 
......I'm waiting for it just, check.


I keep hoping for that reality check. 


I think it's about admitting to myself that, 
"it is okay to feel how I feel, it is okay to just move forward"

I think it's all I've ever wanted was to be an insider. 

I want to wake up to reality and find out that it is okay to be a kid, to have adventures, to take fun pictures with a group of crazy girls, to do something outside of my comfort, to laugh and not be afraid or forced to laugh, to not have to grow up to fast, to be a young soul, to wake up and just take my own way, not having to report to anyone because I feel like I have to do so, 
to not feel like I am pretending to exist in this life of mine. 

I think I am living someone else's dream. 





--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.