Alice, Can Wonderland Be Real?

And I'm not sure what side of this glass I'm on --
what side is real anymore. 
The one where I have 
lived, laughed and loved more than ever,
or the one where I am drowning in decisions. 
Compare and contrasting, pros and cons. 
No more high heels. 
No more Africa. 
No more PhD. 
No more Dr. Smith.
 No more roommates. 
No more girls nights.  
On the other hand, 
more laughter, more stability, more family,
 more love.....
And I can't decide if dream trading, 
if giving up and giving in -- 
if this will be worth it in the end. 
I promised I never would. 
So what is real Alice? Can you tell me now? 
Forgive me first love - 
if I really don't know what I want most anymore. 
But I just don't want to trade what I want most, 
for what I might only want at the moment. 
I'm still trying to figure out 
what side of the mirror I'm on, 
and where I want to stay. 
Because I don't want to gamble away eternity.

--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.