stronger &

Once on a blind date I was told that 
all art does not have to portray something beautiful, 
they said, you know how they always ask, what defines something as art?
Well I say, what defines something as art is if it portrays how you feel. 
And some days you don't always feel like a masterpiece. 
Today, I felt beautiful, I laughed, I smiled, I worked hard -- I just got my heart broken along the way. 
I could say this was unfair, 
but really - it was all fair. 

The thing about love, is that it is all a choice. 
It is completely and undeniably a decision that you make. 
 I chose to love someone and I chose to let them treat me how they did. 
I made that decision however crazy, or completely ridiculous it sounded. 
I had the agency to let them in, 
and I did. 
Do I regret that?
Does it hurt to let them go?

The thing that still strains my thoughts, is that they never called back. 
And I'm done trying to be something that isn't important to them. 
I'm through making excuses for them, or standing up for them, or being there, 
sometimes in life it takes more strength to walk away then to stay where you are. 
I wish I was stronger, 
for this is taking all the strength I have to walk away from one of my best friends. 
And I'll admit it, I'm scared. 
This is me running away. 

[Just a big of Emmaology-- if I run away from you and I really mean that much to you -- come chasing after me.]

So, in all of this try not to judge -
try to let me just run away from things that are painful
& really 
 I'm just showcasing some art, just showing you how I feel. 
And yes, 
sometimes that means I wish I was stronger. 
This is me, open, honest, just on a page. 

{comments welcome}

--But this is just another autobiography, examining the prosopography of me.
By: Emma Marie.